Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
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