wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
