chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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