porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Randomize
