butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
We need a shit load of segways right now
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
