you would pick up someone in the library
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
