I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Randomize
