butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Randomize