No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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