I must be too annoying 4 u.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
im holly from the hills drunk
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
