Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I am midnight drunk by noon
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
