TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Randomize
