it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Randomize
