fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
