Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Randomize
