so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Lo siento on account of my penis...
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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