imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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