The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
