We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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