I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
