I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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