I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
My dick has a subreddit
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Randomize
