Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I am one with the molecules
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Randomize