the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
did i walk over a car last night?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Randomize
