I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Randomize
