I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
