There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
