Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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