The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
