Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(305): View more from Florida

false alarm. still invincible.

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(612): View more from Minnesota

I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles

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(786): View more from Florida

my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao

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(618): View more from Illinois

bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented

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(703): View more from Virginia

The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.

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(847): View more from Illinois

worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez

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(815): View more from Illinois

i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(

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(708): View more from Illinois

And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.

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