Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
