Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
