found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Randomize
