Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
