We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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