I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
you made out with another girl for some wings
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
