I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
