no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
