CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Randomize
