so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
