we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
