I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
