CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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