He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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