I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
