lets start a swedish sibling band together
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
