Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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