so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
