Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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