yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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