It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
