Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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