It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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