Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
