I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
