I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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