2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
don't judge my taste in strippers
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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