one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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