the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Randomize
