Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
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