Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
