i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
