you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
