Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I am available for nakedness
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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