I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
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