She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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