So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
