He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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