There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize