This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Randomize
