Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
